My experiences with violence in schools still echo throughout my life but standing to face the problem has helped me in immeasurable ways.

I came across a video on my Facebook newsfeed, re-posted by Upworthy. Watching it made memories come back; memories I tried to forget for years.

I was not a popular kid in school when I was young. Though I was not a victim of hardcore bullying, there were a lot of times I felt bullied—and how it felt every time greatly affected how I see myself, how I interacted with people, how I saw life..
I hated myself back then. I might even be the most unconfident kid in the school. I was in the star section, was always in the top 10, but that doesn't mean I was never teased, was never looked down upon. The really bad thing was, I felt bullied even by two of my teachers (advisers, actually). It was when I was in grade two, came grade three, my adviser was my grade two adviser's best friend. Talk about luck.

My classmates, some I even considered friends, called me names. I was called maitim or negra (meaning dark-skinned, which was an equivalent to ugly in children's terminology here in the Philippines). Back then, I believed them.

I was called sabog (this can mean messy, ruptured, exploded) because of my nose—because my nose wasn't pretty, it's bulbous. Back then, I believed them. I never felt attractive at all, I rarely talked. Sabog.. Even now when I hear it, the word makes me wince. I hate that word.

I think the reason why I was not bullied badly was because I belong to the top 10 in class. For some reason, kids in the honor roll are a bit 'respected' than the rest. But still, daily repetition of those names I mentioned for a year, two years, three years? You have no idea how much it damaged me, how much it hurt. There were instances when I fought back, but only to those kids I didn't consider my close friends. One of my classmates even lost his tooth because of me. It felt really bad though, that the people I consider and I call my friends bully me, and it felt even worse that I can't do anything to make them stop.

Up until now, I think I can not forgive those two teachers who made my life a living hell when I was a kid. When my classmate loses a pad of paper, a pen, an eraser, a pencil, or whatever, I always get the blame. When the teacher asks a question an nobody raises a hand to answer, I always get called and named bobo (stupid or dumb) for not knowing the answer. Yes, my teacher called me that, and I had to endure with the possibility of being called bobo every day for two years. What's most ironic is that I was in a Christian elementary school (even though I was Catholic), and we were taught everyday to love and treat our neighbors and fellowmen right. As young as 11, I already questioned the legitimacy of religion because of how people treat other people. Now I know that religiousness does not always equate to kindness, and more often the not, they are the people who judge you most and dictate you on how you should live your life.

Due to financial constraints, my mom told me that I will be transferred to a public school after graduation. That terrified me. Why? Because I don't want to part ways with my bully friends. Pretty stupid, huh? But it was better because I already know them, and that I somehow am used to how they call me names. What if my new classmates were worse? Public school students have generally unpretty reputation, and there I was, destined to being one of them.

Came high school, I was surprised. My school was really big, it was like 20 times bigger than my elementary school. Kids were small, always running around. They make too much noise too. But what's most surprising was, they were better mannered than my elite former classmates. Yes they were playful, but it seemed that they had a better grasp on what friendship means, they had better interpersonal skills.

It was in high school that I had a personality reset. I was able to change because there was also a change of environment. There were still bullies, but they knew when to stop. It was more like a teasing, not real bullying.

The feeling of being accepted in a group (for real) has a great impact on individuals. I realized I was a bright kid, a pretty girl, kinda philosophical, and that I can excel greatly in a lot of things. It was then that I also learned what fun really means.

Bullying should not be tolerated, especially within the halls of a learning institution. Teachers too, have to be knowledgeable on how to properly handle and deal with kids because it is in early life that individuals begin to acquire and build their personalities. Grown-ups who were never bullied can never understand how bad it feels, how bad it hurts. I think it is only proper that schools' guidance counselors are taught to be more friendly to students—well, friendly but still strict and fair when it comes to punishments. I grew up being scared to guidance counselors, and when I got older, I realized that they were supposed to be those people you can go to for advice. But I can't blame kids for not wanting to go to the guidance office because I know that fire-breathing dragons are there.

The first two decades of life is quite short, but I believe it is a very important time that affects how an individual will behave for the most of his life ahead. Being bullied damages children. Being the bully even is sometimes the result of being bullied before. Bullying someone might be funny, it might make you feel good about yourself, but that doesn't make it less improper, nor does that make it right.