When I was a little girl, mom or dad would occasionally take me out. At that age, I have always wondered why the people who took trains were always in a hurry—in a hurry up the stairs, in a hurry to be on the arriving train, in a hurry running in or out the train when doors open, hurrying out the exits and down the flight of stairs. In my head, I was like, "Why? Why hurry?"

I was the type of person who never really got around the city much and when I had to travel, it's very rare that I took trains. Oftentimes, I'd be happy sitting inside a jeepney or a bus, staring blankly at street scenery that have always been a part of my everyday life—just staring, not thinking about anything, not caring how long the trip will take, not minding how scorching or how artificially cold it was, not even thinking about how heavy the traffic is.

Three years into university, I started to realize how something I do, something I commit into doing, can demand so much time from me; that was during a period when sleep was a luxury, not a necessity. Half into that school year, I began taking a different route to university. I have always been thrifty, I always try to find the best deal for my money because I know damn well how difficult it is to earn. Compared to my usual route, the new one cost me Php17.00 more (which is a biggie to me) and it included taking a train. It cut my travel time around 40 minutes—40 minutes I spent sleeping—so I guess the Php17.00 was worth it.

It's now my second week into my new job, and I am sitting here at the train station as I wait for the train. I take two trains on my way to and home from work. I missed the second train, the one I usually get to catch. I missed it even if I hurried up the stairs, even if I fought for a standing spot inside the arriving train, even if I hurried out the train when the doors opened, even if I hurried out the exit and down the stairs into the street.

Yes, I know now. When one grows older, a re-assessment on the value of things happen, a re-ordering occurs. As a kid, I only thought of leisure and free food from my parents; as a yuppie, I now think of adequate sleep to help me get through my next shift, I now think of how to get some shuteye on a bed in a 38°C room, I worry of not being able to talk to the people I value love if I come home late.

As a kid, I tried so hard to chase time but now, I'm struggling to keep up with how fast it passes.